Traveler's Feet

and we turned to each other
in fear,
and in love.
holding hands,
as we watched each other sink
floating away
into absolution.


and i thought today, "how strange."
that i should be a brick wall among houses of straw and sticks. that i should be a shoulder when all i have been told, when all that i have seen has been through the eyes of a child.
and how selfish a thought to have, but still -there it was. wide and awake with curiosity.
and i wallowed in it for a moment before realizing that these are just moments.
passing us by.

i sat here today. in this spot and i cried.
not out of sadness. not out of grief.
there are days that these tiny steps seem so small to everyone else, but they are great leaps of faith for me.
i have this organ in my chest, breathing, living, consuming, giving. all against a bone casing. and how sad it must be to live an existence without ever wanting anything more.
i have been tired for miles now. for years.
but in this state, in this body and this place -i don't have time for a good night's sleep.
i am awake even in my dreams.
writhing underneath my bedsheets with thoughts of paintings i want to do someday. with photos of love and devotion. i imagine my wedding dress and how my children's faces will look. i see the far off mountains and city streets of places i have not yet come to know. i meet these people who will love me, betray me, trust me and teach me.
and every day, i am more thankful for these moments.
quick and frail, sitting in the palm of my hands and right behind my translucent eyelids.

i want to abandon my post.
call this war off. with its loud bombs and so many angry faces.
there are no plans, nothing staid and no such animal known as forever that exists.
and i stand here, open hands -
dream on if you must.
i have years and miles to go before i sleep.
and when i do -i will have no dreams.
but i will have memories. and oh, how glorious they will be.